Well, I decided to make a movie and/or film and/'ornet Flix review blog because, finally, I ordered a DVD player! I have never watched a movie in my life because I have had countless troubles acquiring such a thing... don't even get me started on the stories and processes, oy g'Schutzstaffel! It just arrived as an international shipment from Chinatown, tightly wrapped since I wanted it in an undisclosed, custom-created color. However, the DVDs, when played in my custom-made, just-for-me, player, always seem to turn into a blank screen at exactly the hour mark, though there is still audio that trails (people talking, scores, sometimes orchestral, footsteps and miscellaneous foley follies) that I shall, for my intents and purposes, disregard as artistically invalid. Luckily, most of the movies I watch, due to Hollywood conventions, are only allowed to be an hour long anyway, so it seems China finally is auto-westernizing after all. Long life to the Presidents, eh? The audio trails after the hour mark really, REALLY just give me a chance to reflect on only a single, pure, unadulterated sense (while my girlfriend is rubbing my hairy chest), but without anything to watch, what's the point? A blank screen. What can that mean? Anyway, due to my aural frustrations (pun intended), I've decided to include music reviews set in the medium of the movie world. We shall have weekly recordings of us listening to a full CD, in a car, like most musicians do, and reviewing it until we get bored. However, due to low expenses (we're running a blog, after all. You think we have jobs?), all CDs must be bought at the local Good Will (the one next to Hunting Sportsgoods). Pirating is wrong! Unless the culprit is a film, jumping from its productorial grips into our digital hands. Digital hands are different than robotic hands because this isn't a robot review blog; this is essentially a hands-on account of the meaningless (see my other blog post at www.caridiography.weebly.com) critique of the only two reputable arts: film and music. All CD's will not be rated by the traditional number/star/sticker/parental-guidance-factor system (I listen to hardcore hip-hop while my mother comically peers through my window), but with a more personal, physical treatment as deemed fit. All films will not be reviewed with the same quadfecta of the traditional review system, but with emotional and temporal bias. I hope you enjoy this bloggyblog, and at the same time, I hope you like it.
Truly yet sincerely,
Jason "The Caridiographer" Caridi
